The Receiving of Remembering

(The Gospel of Matthew)

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

I have never noticed, until now, that this verse directly follows Christ’s command to not throw away our holy pearls to the swines of this world. And perhaps there is a connection beyond chronology. Maybe we don’t get what we’re looking for because we’re too caught up in our well-rehearsed psychological experiments of throwing away our sacred gemstones to places, projects, and people that can’t be trusted, only to prove that our expertly researched thesis is correct: we’re not worthy, not ready, and not fit, for finding the life we seek.

But perhaps when we stop the self-sabotaging saga of slinging our divine value here, there, and everywhere, we might well find our palms are bursting with precious pearls. Indeed, as I dare to unclench my fists, pause my productions, and open my hands in a gesture of receptivity, I see a rich tapestry of storylines unfold before me. I see my future – because I see my past. I study patterns and symmetries, amidst their scars, sores, and smoother bits - to ponder all the projections that etched such plotlines in my skin – and the tragedy of blindly repeating the same old tropes. But in this tragic tale I see a bright future. And, of course, it is ‘for everyone’.

It is what happens when we remember who we are, where we have been, and what has happened. It is the promise of truth. It’s not woo-hoo, wishy-washy, magical superstition. It’s what happens when we dare to ‘seek’ - dare to ‘ask’ - have I been looking in the right places? Am I throwing pearls before pigs? Has this ever worked? Will I get the sense of peace and power I long for in this place? Is this love?

The Good News is: we are what we seek. We are made in the image of God (how can we not be). The Kingdom of God is within. We are already loved. We are already beautiful. We are already free. And are already home. And yet, despite the mounting evidence that our roles, rules, and rhythms are not working – and might even be fuelling a cycle of rejection, dejection, and despair - we double-down with the same old tried-and-tested form of faith. Perhaps on some strange level we prefer to be secure-in-the-knowledge and right, then genuinely free, healed, and whole – which might explain why we believe things like ‘better the devil you know’ – in other words: at least this way we know what is going to happen, even if it’s a load of pain, suffering, and bother.

True faith demands doubt. Doubtful action. Risking a new way of being, seeing, and seeking The Kingdom Within. A way of truth, that dares to remember all the ways we have wasted our holy pearls on prickly pigs - projecting onto pigsties our deepest hopes, dreams and desires. But in remembering the tragedy of our fatalistic tendency to seek the proof that we are right, rather than the truth that sets us free, we create the space, grace, and place for everything we need – because we already have it. We are it. Or as our original holy language of Sanskrit puts it:

तत् त्वम् असि

Tat Tvam Asi

Thou Art That

Amen