‘You are not the man you once were’
One of the best insults I tend to receive is: you’ve changed. It is true. I’ve undergone many deaths and rebirths. Various incarnations. I have dabbled in all sorts. Rambled here, there and everywhere. They haven’t gone unnoticed, sadly. Subtle disapprovals are shared by friends and foes. A few years ago, a very dear friend made a point of observing how my political allegiances were on the move again. He seemed to be conflating loyalty with integrity; continuity with authenticity; consistency with ethics. But as Heraclitus ‘the obscure’ rightly pointed out: ‘the only constant is change’. And change is a type of death and rebirth. Both a leaving behind and a moving forward. Death is the very life force of biological, psychological and spiritual growth.
And my hero, Bilbo Baggins, walks into, and through, many deaths in The Hobbit. I’ve discussed a few in previous posts: Bilbo leaving the comfort of Bag End; becoming a burglar; and confronting Gollum.
Another key moment in Bilbo’s transmutation is at the edge of Mirkwood, when Gandalf leaves the party. At this point our hero must grow up and take responsibility. He must find the insight, courage and endurance from within, and not from some outer authority figure. And as such, Bilbo grows as a leader in the dark woods; killing the giant spider and naming his sword ‘Sting’. He realises a change within:
‘a growing fierceness and boldness.’
But the bravest death and rebirth for Bilbo happens in The Lonely Mountain as he confronts Smaug:
‘Then the hobbit slipped on his ring […] he was trembling with fear, but his little face was set and grim. Already he was a very different hobbit from the one that had run out without a pocket-handkerchief from Bag End long ago […] Going on from there was the bravest thing he ever did. The tremendous things that happened afterwards were nothing compared to it.’
This journey into the underworld, to battle with chaos itself, is a choice. Fate pushed Bilbo to Gollum. This decent was a conscious decision.
‘He fought the real battle in the tunnel alone, before he ever saw the vast danger that lay in wait.’
The real battle is with our fears. And there is no other way to transcend those fears than to head straight towards them. And go through them. Out-grow them. Personally, I often fear that the world is too big for me. Too cynical for me to show up as I am. Too cruel to share the work that matters. So… what must I do? I must go towards those fears: Show up. Make things. Share them. And The Took inside of me grows.
Bilbo’s reward is great indeed. A fourteenth share of the great treasure. And his final test comes as he is faced with the magnificence of the Arkenstone:
‘Suddenly Bilbo’s arm went towards it drawn by its enchantment […] and put it in his deepest pocket.
“Now I am burglar indeed!”’
Knowing full well that Thorin treasures the Arkenstone above everything else and has sworn to avenge anyone who tried to steal it, Bilbo rationalises that the great gem accounts for his fourteenth of the treasure. He keeps it hidden, like the ring he stole from Gollum. But like the ring, it’s the stolen goods that saves the day. As a result of Smaug’s fall, after Bard’s arrow, and everyone being possessed by dragon sickness, ‘The War of Five Armies’ is stirring. Bilbo is faced with a moral dilemma. He believes that he could bring an end to the war by offering the Arkenstone to the opponent as a bargaining piece. But that would involve betraying Thorin and the other Dwarves.
Bilbo choses to sacrifice his relationship with Thorin and his own attachment to the precious Arkenstone for a much greater peace and purpose.
He has now confronted trolls, goblins, Gollum, Wargs, spiders, friends, leaders, and ultimately his own fears. And he gains a treasure much deeper than the Arkenstone and hoarded gold: Wholeness.
Thorin’s final words, before his death, recognise that Bilbo has integrated his shadow, and not lost his soul in the perilous process.
‘Farewell, good thief […]
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. But sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewell.’
But he goes home a changed hobbit. That is the true prize. Transmutation.
He is the gold he was looking for. Both Baggins and Took. Light and Dark.
A Good Thief.
These are really great Robin (even from my starting point of knowing almost nothing of The Hobbit. Perhaps I will have to read it properly now...)
I’ve really enjoyed reading another of your musings. Great stuff 😀